I agree that there are some very good ideas in there. Might I suggest taking the 57 minutes of material and editing it down to the most striking parts, say 7 minutes worth, so each bar hits the listener, and then add some of your excellent orchestration to enhance the melodies and chords. It could also do with a little expansion/variation of the beat, even using some orchestral percussion to beef it up. And don't forget to use dynamics, with softer bars and louder bars, buildups, crescendos, shock, release, etc. There really is some good stuff in there.
John - San Francisco www.soundcloud.com/john-richards
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