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  #1  
Old 2012-09-02, 08:33
doinky doinky is offline
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
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Would you be so kind as to critique this for me?

I like the concept and all that I've created. Generally I feel the vibe is ok, but not sure about some of the mixing. Any concerns or other concerns here I should be aware of?

List your thoughts please.

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  #2  
Old 2012-09-02, 09:56
moofi's Avatar
moofi moofi is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,446
well, some spontanious thoughts:

First of all, I really like the setup, style, composing, ideas.
Overall, I´d quit that intense L-R-panning. If you like it, I would at least put it a little more in the middle. I´d use width + a little panning for different placement in the stereofield. I wouldn´t pan the drums at all. maybe the hihat´s communicating from on side to the other or moving this way.


- the snare needs more punch/bass, the bassdrum needs more bass.
- the fuzzy basspad, is far too silent + too leftsided. would go equalstereo + add some bass. like the sound.
- on the right hand side, turn that fuzzy synth up + go stereo + a little reverb.
- turn up that melody synth + plus stereo :-D
-the vocals are cool but stick out too loud compared to the rest. I´d put a some reverb on the first vocalist and bring him just a little into the middle. In this case I like the idea of a bit panning in combination with the only passing through singer, though I would place her on the opposite side, as it seems it´s the two conversating.

Just converted the song into mono and spreaded it with the haaseffect, already sounding much much better

at least that´s what I hear

Nevertheless, funky tune I´d like to hear in a newly mixed version.

Last edited by moofi; 2012-09-02 at 09:59.
  #3  
Old 2012-09-02, 11:46
raymondh's Avatar
raymondh raymondh is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,065
Hi

Nice Track

I agree with most of the previous comments.

First thing I would do, is stick the kick and snare drums through a compressor to beef them up a bit.

Second thing I'd check (and it may be fine already) is to high pass anything that's not adding to the bass.

Third thing, is I'd probably bring up the level of the bass a wee bit.

If you do these three things, then you might find the vocal sits fine.
If it doesn't, try adjusting the vocal level, OR, add some reverb to make the vocal sit back a little. Not too much - it's a really nice vocal.

I'm no expert and have much to learn myself, but these are some techniques I've been learning that I find helpful.

cheers,
Raymond
  #4  
Old 2012-09-02, 18:20
bigant's Avatar
bigant bigant is offline
 
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Pretty much what MOOFI said,but i like where you going with this, the screwed hook is tight being from H-TOWN thats all we bang lol.
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  #5  
Old 2012-09-02, 22:35
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guitfnky guitfnky is offline
 
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as someone who has been struggling to improve at singing for awhile now, it pains me to see one of the previous posters say "you suck at singing", especially since you've clearly come here looking for the kind of feedback that will help you improve. I do agree that the vocals are the weak point of the song, but would definitely encourage you to keep at it, because you WILL get better, and I can definitely hear that you've got an ear for melody that will serve you well.

I'd suggest really focusing as much as you can on training yourself to recognize when you're off pitch. it gets easier over time, but it can take awhile. it's best to focus on being as impartial as you can possibly be when tracking yourself. to that end, I would suggest that whenever you record a vocal, begin with the assumption that there is something wrong with it, and try to pick it apart to find what that is. solo the track, and listen through. does it sound "off" at any point pitch-wise? solo just the drums and the vocals. does it sound "off" at any point timing-wise? bring all the instrumentation back up with the vocals and ask yourself does it sound "off" anywhere as far as performance (here I'm talking not about timing or pitch, but delivery; if the line is supposed to be intense, does the take fit that need, or are you way too timid sounding? etc.) that can really help you to identify anything that you've missed. once you've done that, go back and re-record anything that didn't quite make the cut. rinse and repeat until you're happy with the takes. don't get too comfortable yet, because you're not done.

then close the song and move on to something else for a few days. the idea here is to come back with fresh ears. we tend to grow more comfortable with a performance the more we listen to it, so giving your ears time to forget what the takes sounded like in the first place will help provide you with a better perspective about what's really working and what isn't. now revisit the tracks using the same method outlined above. chances are, you're going to hear some stuff that you didn't notice the first time around that you're going to want to fix. you really want to try to keep in mind your perceptions of the takes on the first go-around and compare them to your perceptions after you've had a chance to forget the mix for a bit. were you really happy with the timing of the tracks after the first session, but after the second session, you noticed that your timing was sloppy? did you think the pitch was dead-on the first session but now you're noticing pitchy spots all over? this exercise will help you to figure out where your bias lies when listening back to tracks initially, and the more you do this, the easier it will be to hear issues that need addressing in the initial sessions (as you're tracking) instead of the later sessions. your vocal takes will improve more and more as you do this.

that's just my experience. there may be a better way to do it, but this has worked well for me so far. good luck!

oh, and I really dig the track, by the way. keep up the good work!
  #6  
Old 2012-09-02, 23:51
Staarchylld's Avatar
Staarchylld Staarchylld is offline
 
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Posts: 1,395
The track os a little strange but thats not a bad thing. The singing is off but practice is the game and i sing worse than that so dont think im being harsh. I love the part. Between 0:38-0:51 it sounds great except for that white noise. Over all the whole thong is interesting but could use some work. I thought the female vocals were sitting pretty nicely in there. I would like to hear further work on it.
  #7  
Old 2012-09-02, 13:06
zeroohm zeroohm is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by doinky View Post
I like the concept and all that I've created. Generally I feel the vibe is ok, but not sure about some of the mixing. Any concerns or other concerns here I should be aware of?

List your thoughts please.

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you suck at singing my first thought as i heard the first second of the track other than that that stereo paning is not contributing very well
  #8  
Old 2012-09-02, 13:46
tincture's Avatar
tincture tincture is online now
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Can't really comment on the mix too much as listening on earbuds but that first vocal (you?) needs fixing/ re-doing ;-) The levels seem ok to me and placements are ok. I liked the beats and the variations in this track, an interesting track with some good creativity.
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Synth Rock
  #9  
Old 2012-09-02, 16:15
Djwill1s's Avatar
Djwill1s Djwill1s is offline
 
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Posts: 577
I like the instrumental, except for the panning, especially the legati bass thing, but the vocal really needs work.
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  #10  
Old 2012-09-03, 08:02
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ayello ayello is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
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The song is interresting, there's creativity there, but the singing to my ears is out of tune.
Best
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