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  #1  
Old 2012-09-04, 11:43
Punchinello's Avatar
Punchinello Punchinello is offline
 
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My new song - Asking for your feedback

Hi all!

Im working on this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3mtjpZ4D1Q&feature=plcp

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Yeah, the video itself does not fit perfectly, but the scene kinda fits the thing Im having in my mind.

The song itself is 3/4 to the floor, so if you have some idea how to make it a little bit more interesting, you are welcome. Im thinking about adding a clap to the second part of the song.

drumloop would go kinda like this: boom - boom - boom - clap - boom - boom

Feel free to share your point of view.
Thanks! Chris
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  #2  
Old 2012-09-04, 13:30
ryszard's Avatar
ryszard ryszard is offline
 
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I think it's lovely. I got distracted by the video and had to keep reminding myself that it is original. I'd stick some guitars in it, but that's just me. Be careful what you add. More is not always better (but you know that).
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  #3  
Old 2012-09-04, 13:44
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That is really cool man. So basic, yet emotional and free. Great quote about being a part of a whole. So true. If everyone in the world thought that way, we would have evolved much sooner. I think it would be a little better if it had a little solo in there somewhere. It is good as is though and I love the chord changes and piano melody. Thank you for that enlightening music.
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  #4  
Old 2012-09-04, 14:07
Punchinello's Avatar
Punchinello Punchinello is offline
 
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Thanks for your kind and encouraging words! so far the claps didnt work the way i thought they would. added some very decent organic shakers to the closed hh. ill give the guitars a try! ill pst an update this evening.

deeply grateful! chris
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"Music is a Place to take Refuge. It's a Sanctuary from Mediocrity and Boredom. It's Innocent and it's a Place you can loose yourself in Thoughts, Memories and Intricacies." (Lisa Gerrard)

  #5  
Old 2012-09-04, 14:47
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ryszard ryszard is offline
 
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Actually, I was thinking of doing the guitars myself. I don't have a clue on how to collaborate, though.
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  #6  
Old 2012-09-04, 17:39
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rVOLT rVOLT is offline
 
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well done.
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  #7  
Old 2012-09-04, 18:07
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Punchinello Punchinello is offline
 
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thanks, rvolt!

@ryszard: do you play the acoustic guitar well and, if yes, can you record it?
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