Propellerhead Software
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Old 2013-03-11, 04:14
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rankine15 rankine15 is offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 47
I really like this. I have some great constructive advice.

This song could make it on the radio, but you do not have definitive bridges. The listener is used to a two bar measure on the intro with expectation of a melody change.

If you took so much care to write the words, you should add a new melody for the first 30 seconds. Close your eyes and listen to it, you expect a new melody.

I have an example to share, http://archive.org/details/Rankine-Star

Try listening to "Reason, I Breathe" or "Southern Lighter." The notes are climatic and build in measures of one bar.

All you really need to do... is write a new bass line for each verse/chorus.

If you do that, you could have a "sweet-heart" single for modern radio. I'd download it, want to give it away?
 

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