My honest opinion:
1) Good to see you do a short tune!
2) Vocals need some Neptune pitch correction here and there.
3) The vocal reverb you chose sounds like you're at karaoke night at some back alley pub.
4) The song needs an interlude or break of some sort- that is if you want to write catchy music..
5) It's a good start to writing actual songs man so keep it up.
"Life is a movie, you're a star."
"Don't waste your talents."
"Give music life!"
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